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Someday I Will Change Again.

Maxxxie, 08.07.2007 22:20
Katsottu 1435 kertaa

Someday I will change again. But not quite yet. I used to be a nice girl and a good student. Never smoked nor drunk any alcohol. Never used ugly, forbidden words and never skipped classes in the school. I helped everyone and everywhere. Never wanting nothing back for myself. And still, all that I was getting from people was shit and nothing more. They didn't respect me, they thought and showed me that I was not good enough for their circle of conversation, not to mention circle of friends. So I was alone. Sure there were times when girls played with me, but it wasn't constant,not at all. Even though every day I wished that I would belong for them. I was a girl who was an outsider. A girl with dreams and a good heart, that in the very end got broken. Yes, it got broken. And then I grew up, and started to think that what is the point to be a nice person? So I changed. I stopped thinking about other people and started living only for myself. Started smoking and drinking. Never ever caring about anyone else. Sounds cruel? Well it was, often, but not always. I was two-faced, an angel and a devil, saint and sinfull... One minute I'm your best friend, next minute I tell your enemy your secrets and fuck your boyfriend. And the saddest thing is, that you will never suspect me for doing that, because you trust me. Yes, I was that person. Total bitch and ice-queen. Was I happy? Well... Yes and no. I was kind of a suicidal, in the evenings slitting my wrists and hating myself, by day driving mom's car enjoying the speed and living careless life. Still subconsciously knowing that it won't last forever. This is quite a short story. But on the other hand, why to write a long story that no-one will read? Well... Let me tell the end of the story about my life... Now I have to change again. But I haven't done it yet. It is still to come. And I'm waiting for it. I want to be a good person that can take care by itself and let nobody, and I mean nobody to harm me. To be better. To be nicer. To be grateful. To live and feel again. To enjoy the life that is given to me. To be...me. Someday I will change again.



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